BLOSSOM GRAM

Dearly Beloved, Greetings, my beloved. It's been a while since we last spoke. Life has been quite a journey for me, and I find myself at your feet once again, ready to stand up and move forward. As you know, we all fall sometimes, but it's how we pick ourselves up that defines us. I hope you've been doing well. The weather's been quite chilly, and the government has finally confirmed that the rains are indeed El Nino. Perhaps one day, I'll have tales to tell my children about this time in our lives. I've been doing a lot of introspection lately, and I'd like to share some of my thoughts with you.    A line reads, “You hate meeting new people because you have to talk to them. You have to break the ice. You are socially awkward. Of course, you are; You prefer to stay in your corner and dream your dreams and think your thoughts. You are most comfortable in silence. You lean on it and wonder if you are happy. Sometimes you do that for no reason at al...

  My Darling, I write this knowing you will be here at some point and I hope I will be well prepared for you. I have a huge scope of knowledge but I seem not to know how to use that knowledge well, or rather I am yet to know how to teach the things that I know. I have loved and I have been loved and I promise nothing feels more heavenly than the embrace of the one you love. The way they look at you, and the way they talk and walk and smile, and the little things that they do that only you seem to see and feel and breathe and live and love. Don't you even think of giving up Don't you even Don't you even say you've had enough You're not leaving There is also the other side of love; where they stop loving you. No one prepares you for this. It’s a wrecking ball as it crashes the utter foundations of your beliefs about love. You remain confused about what you did wrong as they try to convince you that it wasn’t your fault yet they do not want anything to do...

Dear Reader, The scripture reads,  “For My thoughts are not your thoughts, and My ways are not your ways…”. You can refer to Isaiah 55:8-9 for context but I think it's God saying that his mind is not the same as ours. But we are made in his image so to some degree we may relate intellectually. Conflicting argument but it is beside the point. The Human Mind is the point or rather the basis for all this. Some scholars defined the mind as, “the part of a person that feels, perceives, thinks, wills, and especially reasons” and I think they forgot the part about how our minds protect us. It is fascinating to me how it works. It has a life of its own. It chooses to play tricks on us, it chooses to forget and also forgets what it has forgotten and that is funny but that does not even scratch the surface of what the mind is. So, the mind protects. And we might question how it does this and it’s pretty simple. It cares for us. It is us, so it protects but sometimes its mode of protect...

  Hey Njeri, MaryAnne Njeri of house Ngure, Mother of six daughters and a son, Grandmother to yours truly and others, Protector of our hearts and peace, and a lady who could not hide fault but grill you for it. You will always remain in my heart and I will always Love You!   Njeri… You would probably smack me if I called you that. I miss you! It has taken me a while to finally write this but here I am, seated and getting some evening sun as I listen to Emile Mosseri. You probably don’t even know who Emile is but if there’s Spotify in heaven I’ll play you some of his best works. I’ve been sad, or rather broken but I had a project that made me forget for a while. I cleared it successfully and I found that the emotions had already settled and they offered me coffee as we discussed why I have ignored them. The sun shone that day when I received the news. The world did not stop to acknowledge that a saint had left our midst. The birds still chirped and I still had to go toi...

  Dearly Beloved, I will never be Somebody else’s I will always be Either entirely yours Or completely my own There is nothing else That I will ever find Beyond You and I. ~S.L. Gray~   I Love You! There I said it! It’s finally off my chest. I can now breathe. It feels like a weight has been lifted off my chest and I can smile again after being anguished by that which I could not admit. I have lied to myself that I don’t but here I am finally falling in truth and it feels good and sad at the same time since I still cannot say it to your face. I have desired to tell you this for a while now and I didn’t know how but I guess this does it. I Love You but You don’t; so, only I remains. It sucks being on this boat again, but I will find my shore once more, hopefully, a little bit faster than the first time. I say you don’t since I am afraid of you saying you do. What would I do with your love? How would I handle it? How would I fill you with love whe...