DON'T YOU DARE!

 

My Darling,

I write this knowing you will be here at some point and I hope I will be well prepared for you. I have a huge scope of knowledge but I seem not to know how to use that knowledge well, or rather I am yet to know how to teach the things that I know.

I have loved and I have been loved and I promise nothing feels more heavenly than the embrace of the one you love. The way they look at you, and the way they talk and walk and smile, and the little things that they do that only you seem to see and feel and breathe and live and love.

Don't you even think of giving up

Don't you even

Don't you even say you've had enough

You're not leaving

There is also the other side of love; where they stop loving you. No one prepares you for this. It’s a wrecking ball as it crashes the utter foundations of your beliefs about love. You remain confused about what you did wrong as they try to convince you that it wasn’t your fault yet they do not want anything to do with you.

Girls have a tendency where they stop loving you but keep you by their side till they are healed, and then they break the news to you that they no longer love you. Now, my darling, there is nothing you can possibly do at this given moment. There is no way to redeem yourself from this choice and life has it that you have to accept it and move on.

Don't you know that lovers don't let go

No no no, not like that

Take your time but come back

The thing with love is it comes from you and so it becomes hard for you to stop something that came so naturally to you. Loving is like breathing. It just happens; So is love. They will leave you but you will wake up loving them, walk loving them, eat loving them, breathe loving them, love loving them and it will not make sense why they left as you believe that they loved you the same way you did them.

 

Devil put a gun to my face

Flip the tables when I'm leaning

Devil take it all with no shame

Let me lay till I'm done bleeding

You can take it all, but don't you dare take her

Knowing that someone made the choice to unlove you will hurt you. It’s an excruciating pain that no one can understand and please do not believe when someone says that they understand how you feel because they didn’t love like you did, so how would they understand the turmoil that your heart is in? They can relate but can never understand!  You will try to be okay as you will be certain that you can make them love you again but love is not forced; no amount of time can make someone love you if they don’t.

Acceptance will be the hardest part. Knowing that all the castles you built were for naught. Seeing them smile but not for you, seeing them smirk but not towards you, seeing them be who you love, loved, still love, will forever love but can never say it again since you might be derided for it. So, you are forced to accept but you will breathe love and live love but die from it hence it becomes an unchanging game of life and death with love.

Don't tell me that you lost it, but you don't know how

Cause you don't mean it

Don't tell that you used to hurt but now you're fine

Cause you still need me

The scriptures dictate that love is as strong as death and Solomon was right. They become the death of you when they no longer love you. The same person who needed you now doesn’t. The person who made your day now doesn’t. The person who loved you now doesn’t and yet you still love them and still need them but you can no longer have that. You will find yourself going far and wide trying to advocate that you are a good lover but it will be fanning the winds of desperation and become a useless exertion.

You will find yourself questioning if you deserve love? If you can love again? If you can be loved? And there might never be answers to the rhetorical yet important questions.

 

Don't you know that lovers don't let go

No no no, not like that

Take your time but come back

The drollest bit about life is that there are those whose lovers get to come back. I hope that yours never get to leave in the first place but if they do, then may they come back for you deserve love and are capable of loving and you can love.

But if they don’t come back then maybe it is for the best. Then maybe they were never meant to stay. Then it is not your fault for being unloved by them so don’t beat yourself up for them. You might never stop loving them but the pain of their loss becomes bearable and there gets to be the space to love others and be loved by others and enjoy the fruit that is love…

 

Love,

 

Thairu