Skip to main content

LOVE ME WRONG!

 


A quote read, “It’s hard to wait for something you know might not happen but it’s even harder to give up when you know it’s everything you want.”

The quote felt timely. I read it at a time when I struggled with letting go. I don’t want to, though. She was mine, but she wasn’t. She might never be, but I want her to be. Why? Umm... because she is everything!

What does that mean? I also can’t tell but I know that she is everything I currently think life is. It’s happiness, sadness, peace, anger, a thin line between crazy and tranquility and I crave to have that forever.

You make me want to make mistakes

You turn temptation into my best friend

You make me just give up and cave

Will I ever fall in love like this again?

She gaslights me into thinking that crazy is normal. She pushes my boundaries, and I want to try everything at least once. The whole time, I am certain that the ideas are extreme, but I am exhilarated, and I love the thrill it brings.

I have tried falling in love with others but I am a “good” person with them. I am kind, peaceful, and chill, and I wonder if that is who I really am. But with her, I am me! I feel more alive and seen and I want to see how far I can go with her by my side. But sadly, as life would have it, I was dumped. She left! She is no longer mine… I am no longer hers…

I'm in hell, your taste, your smell, I know you far too well

It's a spell

That took me from a dream to this motel

I ring the bell

'Cause honestly I'd rather be with you than by myself

I have refused to move on. Or rather, my whole being refutes the idea of a future without her. I don’t want to be a “good” man. I want to live and be crazy and still be lovely while doing it. She knows me in ways I am not ready for another to know me. There are moments I think I have her scent and I sit there all happy while pushing the idea that I might actually be crazy aside. It brings me profound peace and her voice has me in a spell that I don’t want to come out of. I reminisce her touch and the thought of it has me dazed for hours.

So love me wrong, if you can't love me right

All I want is to be in your vice

You're the one who builds my paradise

Love me, love me wrong

Love me, love me wrong

If you can't love me right

I am not seeking her love at this point, I don’t think she has it anymore but we can use mine. I have all this love within me and I wouldn’t mind it if she didn’t love me “right” so long as I have her with me. It sounds broken and you might judge me but deep down you do know that we seek after the love we think we deserve rather than the love we need. I have that, but I don’t want it. I just want her!!!

You make me take what I can get

Your love is poison that won't let me live

You make me drunk and desperate

'Cause it helps me to forget what you don't give

I used to judge villains in shows when they went after what they wanted and I lived long enough to see myself turn into them. Seeking after something that brings me ruin but clearly makes me happy. I, a man blessed with beautiful people all around but I hate who I am with them as it is not my “true” self, hence I seek to be free and drown in her presence.

Can you just love me wrong, if you can't love me right

All I want is to be in your vice

You're the one who builds my paradise

Love me, love me wrong

Love me, love me wrong

If you can't love me right!

Love,

 

Thairu

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

SEB'S

Dearly Beloved, It's been six years since I said I'd watch this piece, La La Land. I've been afraid, though, afraid that it might become my life. A line reads that whoever is afraid of suffering is already suffering from what they fear, and clearly, I have become it.  Seb says that he is letting life hit him till it gets tired then he will hit back and that line made me laugh as life has been hitting me lately. A line reads that don't kick a man whose on the ground but life didn't get the memo since I've been receiving my daily share of kicks everyday. You know, life not being as I had envisioned it as a child. Be married at 25 and have cars and houses and horses and kids... and now I can barely follow through a movie as I need rest.  Mia and Seb are what I had and what I craved for so I understood their story. How both of them sought after their dreams and worked towards them but then life chose different trajectories for them and life seemed good but they were...
1 comment
Read more

L'amour De Ma Vie!

Dearest Reader, Yesternight I lay beside a woman I desired. She was the embodiment of all I wanted but wasn't what I needed. It took me too long to realize that, though. I may have been so fixated on the idea of being with her that I lost myself in my own whims of what I thought I wanted.  Want and need always seem blurry to me. I always want things that make my heart race, and I chase after them, then realize that I just needed some peace of mind and slow music. But does that mean that I shouldn't chase after what I want? What if that want causes me more damage than I can handle and I finally break? Break because I have spent my years holding on to the hope that I will always be okay, as I walked on a tight leash and a single misstep would cause my death. I have all these fears of finding a good woman. Fears that have no basis since I do not know what a good woman is. Is a good woman someone who resembles my mother? Is a good woman someone whom I love that she loves me? Nah, I...
2 comments
Read more