NJERI

 

Hey Njeri,

MaryAnne Njeri of house Ngure, Mother of six daughters and a son, Grandmother to yours truly and others, Protector of our hearts and peace, and a lady who could not hide fault but grill you for it. You will always remain in my heart and I will always Love You!

 

Njeri… You would probably smack me if I called you that. I miss you! It has taken me a while to finally write this but here I am, seated and getting some evening sun as I listen to Emile Mosseri. You probably don’t even know who Emile is but if there’s Spotify in heaven I’ll play you some of his best works. I’ve been sad, or rather broken but I had a project that made me forget for a while. I cleared it successfully and I found that the emotions had already settled and they offered me coffee as we discussed why I have ignored them.

The sun shone that day when I received the news. The world did not stop to acknowledge that a saint had left our midst. The birds still chirped and I still had to go toil. The moon rose that night and the clouds moved and we looked at each other in the house trying to be strong for each other or rather trying not to break since who would be able to piece us together when we did not know how to deal with your loss.

Then we buried you and;

The grief didn’t go away,

Life just got busy,

and the grief got shoved to the side.

Yeah, it feels as bad as it sounds,

But the world didn’t stop,

So, I had to keep going.

Even though it hurt so much that you are no longer with us,

I just had to keep going.

What choice did I have?

 

It sucked when you left since I had this idea that maybe you would meet my partner and watch me walk down the aisle lakini ulisema might as well do this in heaven. I cried alone when you left, then it hit that maybe you were having a blast in paradise meeting all these characters and maybe you haven’t had a chance to miss us, miss me… but I miss you.

You left on a Sunday and we laid you to rest on Saturday and it was funny and chaotic. People were everywhere. Your neighbors closed shop and came. Then these ladies adorned in white surrounded your coffin and sang these sweet melodies and praised you for your good works. We then laid flowers and it sucks that I never got to give you one but I plan to give one every time I visit. It defeats the point but I hope you shall receive them.

So, death created time

To grow the things that it would kill

They called you a bride as your body was been laid and the beautiful and tough moments we shared flashed in my head. Hurts that I won’t have you to nag me about githeri anymore, or maybe about me running away from my chores only to come back in the evening all dirty and starved and then screaming at me as you washed my feet and offered me a meal. It’s crazy how I took all that for granted and never thanked you.

I was shocked to know you were over Eighty. What do you mean you were that old!!! Jesus, you were faster than me and that is embarrassing to say but you beat me to a race against bees, and to date that does not make sense to me. My Gikuyu got better, and I loved how you learned Swahili for us to communicate better; You really exerted yourself to show us how much you loved us. You were really the best grandma anyone could ask for.

I regret not seeing you these last few months when you were ailing and that might haunt me forever but I ask that you may forgive me. I finally got to experience grief as I had to watch your daughter break almost every day as she praised you. You were a blessing to us and I am genuinely happy to have experienced you. The laughter, the lessons, the nagging, the good food, are a few things I will carry forever.

So, pray for us when you remember us. Pray for us that we may not lose that which you carried. I am as stubborn as you were so I have that. I only yearn for patience and hopefully, I will get it. Rest with the angels' grandma, you had a beautiful journey and it makes me glad to know that when my time is nigh, I shall meet you there. Hopefully, the new body comes with faster feet so that I can beat you to a race up there.

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