Skip to main content

UFO!


Her: Why did you stop writing?

Him: ummmmmmmmm………..

 

Dear YOU,

Psst! It’s been a while. I have been riding the wave called life and I’ve capsized a couple of times and drowned then got myself back to shore and did it all over again. I had been doing this for a while then finally it was my anniversary. I have been here for 300 months, 9131 days, 219,144 hours, 13,148,640 minutes, 788,918,400 seconds. It has been a short but long time since I can’t remember most of the things that have happened over all those minutes.

A lot has happened over the years. I have been beaten, I have had a few misdirected crushes, I have loved, I have been loved, I have hated, I have been hated, I have cried, I have laughed, I have been sick and I have been healthy but above all else, I have been alive. I have lived.

I became what most people refer to as rebellious since I tend to do what I please. I refuted the idea of being controlled by experiences and advice from people who have not walked in my shoes. I refuted the idea of being afraid to try since I only get one shot at this life thing.

Life to me is a funny concept. We get born and what happens happens and we die. That’s odd, isn’t it? But I am expected to follow some manual created by the fears of men to limit myself and regret the life I lived when I die. That is sad and sadness is a whale that is ever ready to swallow you whole. You drown in it and finally die while searching for the light not knowing you were the actual light you were searching for.

It’s odd how everything you will ever need will come from you. Happiness, Zest for Life, Sadness, Joy, Patience… all these are in you, and like a game character you only need to level up and access more attributes. Now, most of us don’t know this. We never get the chance to know this as we get to live by the leash created by the homes we were born in.

There’s a channel on YouTube named; Soft White Underbelly and the host gets to navigate through the life choices of most of the characters and what led them to do what they did or are doing and the responses always have me shaken. My life is not so different from some of the characters but I was always conscious of where a certain road would lead me to. Sadly, most people do not have this compass. They do because they were told to do it, they think that way since they were taught to think like that and then since we do not have all this information about how they grew up we start judging them. Judging their choices, judging their thoughts, judging their way of life while being ignorant of the fact that they live their lives at peace knowing what they know and thinking their trained thoughts…

That is scary to me. I have always questioned everything; my faith, why I think that way, why you think that way, why I made that choice, why, why, why… and you also want to tell me that there are people who do not question anything!!!!!! They do it just because they were told to, they think since they were taught to…  Seems like a limited life to me, but a full life to them, and I must understand this.

But, that is my opinion. Growing up, I realized that how these ‘people’ lead their lives is none of my concern. They are content and if I impose my opinion on their lifestyle then that would make me the villain in their stories. Hence, I must walk through life accepting all these things and letting men be men.

So, why did I stop writing? I didn’t. I just got lost in the sea of trying to understand men. They are fascinating creatures. Some are moved by fear, others by curiosity and some just live silently and pass on silently too. They are human. Beautiful creatures that are loveable from a distance but you’d be full of disdain for them if you got too close.

I have learned, I am still learning to not impose my thoughts on men and just lead a life where I view them as “UFOs” (Understandable Fervent Ordeals).

 

Love,

 

Thairu. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

SEB'S

Dearly Beloved, It's been six years since I said I'd watch this piece, La La Land. I've been afraid, though, afraid that it might become my life. A line reads that whoever is afraid of suffering is already suffering from what they fear, and clearly, I have become it.  Seb says that he is letting life hit him till it gets tired then he will hit back and that line made me laugh as life has been hitting me lately. A line reads that don't kick a man whose on the ground but life didn't get the memo since I've been receiving my daily share of kicks everyday. You know, life not being as I had envisioned it as a child. Be married at 25 and have cars and houses and horses and kids... and now I can barely follow through a movie as I need rest.  Mia and Seb are what I had and what I craved for so I understood their story. How both of them sought after their dreams and worked towards them but then life chose different trajectories for them and life seemed good but they were...

LOVE ME WRONG!

  A quote read, “It’s hard to wait for something you know might not happen but it’s even harder to give up when you know it’s everything you want.” The quote felt timely. I read it at a time when I struggled with letting go. I don’t want to, though. She was mine, but she wasn’t. She might never be, but I want her to be. Why? Umm... because she is everything! What does that mean? I also can’t tell but I know that she is everything I currently think life is. It’s happiness, sadness, peace, anger, a thin line between crazy and tranquility and I crave to have that forever. You make me want to make mistakes You turn temptation into my best friend You make me just give up and cave Will I ever fall in love like this again? She gaslights me into thinking that crazy is normal. She pushes my boundaries, and I want to try everything at least once. The whole time, I am certain that the ideas are extreme, but I am exhilarated, and I love the thrill it brings. I have tried fallin...

L'amour De Ma Vie!

Dearest Reader, Yesternight I lay beside a woman I desired. She was the embodiment of all I wanted but wasn't what I needed. It took me too long to realize that, though. I may have been so fixated on the idea of being with her that I lost myself in my own whims of what I thought I wanted.  Want and need always seem blurry to me. I always want things that make my heart race, and I chase after them, then realize that I just needed some peace of mind and slow music. But does that mean that I shouldn't chase after what I want? What if that want causes me more damage than I can handle and I finally break? Break because I have spent my years holding on to the hope that I will always be okay, as I walked on a tight leash and a single misstep would cause my death. I have all these fears of finding a good woman. Fears that have no basis since I do not know what a good woman is. Is a good woman someone who resembles my mother? Is a good woman someone whom I love that she loves me? Nah, I...