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ARE YOU WAITING?

Dearly Beloved, 

It has been a while since I've been here. I do hope you've been well and taking care of yourself because I know I haven't. My month has been chaotic but I have found this chance to write to you. Regardless, I did meet her. 

She has me here seated in silence and in darkness trying to find the words that can best express how I feel. How I can bring her forth to the world in a way that does justice to who she is. How I can let the world know that I have found the gift it served me with.

You came to see me here tonight
I haven't seen you in a while
And as I cry, I say
Are you waiting?
Cause when I wake up, you won't be alone again

She is different. Or maybe that's how I see her. With her hair and her smile and every other thing that God saw fit to adorn her in so that I could see her for who she is... My joy or maybe His joy but nonetheless I am the one that sees her now, so yes My Joy. 

I came to see you here tonight
I never found you and I tried
And as I cry, I say
Are you waiting?
Cause when I wake up, you won't be alone again

She makes my heart palpitate or maybe I am still sick but she has me wanting to be cured or maybe I could get healed by being close to her. That's cheesy... But what are the odds that as God was sending her forth to the world so that I may find her, He packed His grace at her Bossom and I'd be healed when I hugged her? I'm getting delusional...

Is heaven just as beautiful as you?
Is heaven half as beautiful?
Could you save a space for me next to you?

I am afraid though. I fear that if I dare get too close then my heart would get broken. I wonder if I would be insecure of the world seeing her as I do. I wonder if I would be able to hold her close to me without squuezing too hard in fear of her being taken from my arms. I know that I wouldn't have the strength to walk through life if she is taken from me. So does that make me a weak man or rather a man weakened by love?

I wonder
Does anybody come to see you?
I came to see you here tonight
I've never seen you in the light
And as I cry, I say
Are you waiting?
Cause when I wake up, you won't be alone again

I do not want to let fear take this from me. So I guess I'll take that step forward and try expressing how I feel. Maybe the world will shine my way and I'll have her or maybe I'll sleep and wake a coward who never knew what could be. I have seen heaven and I wonder if I am worthy enough to walk in it, maybe I should cleanse some more before I can try... 

Is heaven just as beautiful as you?
Is heaven half as beautiful?
Could you save a space for me next to you?
I wonder,
Does anybody come to see you?

Love,

Thairu.
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