MISERABLE MAN.

In the future

If by some miracle

You find yourself in the position to fall in love again 

Fall in love with me... 

Paulo Coelho once said that;

So, I love you because the entire universe conspired to help me find you... 

So, I hope you would understand it when I am stuck cause I lost you. Everything was aligned, the first time you walked in, in your grey pants and that smile that made me fall for you. And how my heaven was my moments with you...

When we held hands on our way home, when we shared earphones together and I still crave for such moments again. A cold evening and it's just us at the back of the vehicle, holding hands, listening to pink sweats and the world seeming to slow down for us to savour every moment of it.

But all that's gone. So I walk listening to pink sweats but he is the reminder of everything I lost and I started disliking his music. But he is not at fault but maybe the fault is to be found within myself. Maybe if I chose to take the step forward then he would be beautiful again but I would still want her fingers interlaced with mine, her scent on my clothes, her lips on mine, her love and care and how the world seemed to ensure that she was mine till she wasn't.

So who is at fault, why did the world turn it's back on me. I don't remember doing anything that would justify the pain of loss and I won't accept that bs about learning experiences because I never cared for that class. I am here fighting my demons and she would have been by my side but loneliness and guilt are by my side and they call me Mr. Forgettable.... 

So maybe I am. Maybe it's easy for her to forget but she felt like home and when we parted I have been a miserable man who does what he can to forget but this has proven that trying to forget makes you remember more... And more is painful since it's the reminder that you might never experience that again...

So maybe all I wanted was a place to feel like home and now I have to heal my soul but currently I am a Miserable man...

Thairu.