COLD LITTLE HEART

A line reads that the boring stuff is the stuff that we remember the most...

Our days were mainly composed of watching shows together, eating and cuddling. It was the same boring routine but it meant a lot to me. Maybe it meant a lot to her too but I can't tell.

Sundays were us alone cooking, watching a show, arguing then making up and it was the same and I liked it. I hated the fights but they are natural if Love is involved. I loved the food, some days salty, some days without salt but it was prepared with a lot of love and I can promise you the food was always good

Boring was us, I mean, I wanted that boring lifestyle till death doth us part. Boring was beautiful. Boring mattered to me. Then it ended and boring remained in my head and heart.

There are days I am close to losing my mind wanting to experience all that again. Some guy said that you can never experience the same person twice even if it's the same person or something close to that and had me thinking... Thats a lie. I am the same, I just happen to be more aware, I won't make the same errors, won't do this or that but the ship sailed so all that doesn't matter.

I wonder how many of us crave for the same boring lifestyle they had with their partners then they try to enforce them onto their new partners. It becomes an injustice to the new ones but they are too infatuated to say No to it since they also need love.

So we enforce our experiences with our exes on to them and cannot have them at their full potential as they are trying to please us. I know it's wrong but who doesn't want to experience their happiest moments again even at the expense of another. Some self righteous folks will argue that it's unjustified for us to do so but deep down I know they would want the same.

I'm not saying I do the same but I won't deny that it's not a thought I've had before. But, will she cook like her? Will she hum like her as she works, will that purple dress look the same on her, will she be the most beautiful woman when her hair is all messed up in the morning, will she... Will she...

Chances are that she won't, so I'd rather not try at all. They say that time heals all wounds but I think they forget that time takes time and the seconds that feel like eons means more time spent apart from our, from my beloved.

But I have her in my heart, in my cold little heart...

Thairu

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SEB'S

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