HATING LOVE!

 Hunter: When have you felt your weakest?

Pierce: (sighs) I was in love once with this one girl.

Pierce: I saw my entire future with her. When we decided to like break things off, she came over to my house and I just held her. We just leaned against my car and I just held her, just knowing that like this is the last time I’m gonna hug her for… probably ever.

Pierce: I… was honestly mad at myself for how weak I felt. Now I’m a lot less susceptible to falling in love.

Hunter: Do you think you will always be in love with this girl?

Pierce: Always.

Pierce: I’ll never fall out of love for her. I think about her probably every day. Knowing that I’ll never see her again or knowing that she’ll be with another man one day and married whatever…

Pierce: I can come to terms with it because… I know that I love her because of the way she affected my life and how much joy she brought me … at a specific time in my life.

 

Dearly Beloved,

Heartbreaks! They feel like a few needles pricking your stomach or maybe you have ulcers and you need immediate medical attention. Or maybe the heartbreak causes the ulcers (You can never be too sure about these things). It could be brought about by anything; maybe you watched your football team score itself (two goals… kivipi???) or maybe they ate your lunch and they are sorry (I believe this is a whole different type of pain). Still, most of us relate heartbreaks with our loved ones who chose to unlove us for reasons they know best.

"Hey, it's me, not you" has to be the recycled line. I wonder how the predecessor felt while using it. he was probably black and with the need to escape responsibility in his genes, he said, “Hey, it's not you it's me” and went ahead to give the most inutile reason for breaking up with her. And maybe she just stood there and understood his lame excuse then cried for a few weeks, oh well, a few months.

But then again most of us change at this point. A part of us dies for we do not understand that love comes from within us. That they were at the receiving end but we forget all this and chose to become numb to emotion, we start hating love. It’s a quagmire when you think about it but it seems to make sense to a lot of us. Hating Love (Maybe I should use this as the title)

So, most of us are numb, then one Friday morning a queen releases a song and… Time stops. The birds don’t chirp, and you are among men but you feel alone, your mind segregates you to a lonely dark place and the humming sound of the artist breaks a few walls. Then her voice fills your ears…

Lift me up

Hold me down

Keep me close

Safe and sound

The first tear rolls down…

Burning in a hopeless dream

Hold me when you go to sleep

Keep me in the warmth of your love

When you depart, keep me safe

Safe and sound

It’s a waterfall at this point, you fight the urge not to break down but you can’t. Funny how we think we are strong only for our emotions to bring us down. At this point, you remember the love you had for them, the castles you had built with them, and how all that ended really fast. You remember how toxic it was but how much hope you had that they would change.

Drowning in an endless sea

Take some time and stay with me

Keep me in the strength of your arms

Keep me safe

Safe and sound

Something clicks as she sings and it dawns on you how strong you have been. How much you have grown emotionally. How you have chosen yourself countless times. How you handled your weak moments and how life smiled at you a couple of times. How you found love within yourself and embraced your entirety. How you journal on some days and enjoy living. How you now have a strong emotional support group that wants the best for you and keep you safe.

Burning in a hopeless dream

Hold me when you go to sleep

Keep me safe

We need light, we need love

 

At this point, we have all the love we will ever need. The love to pick ourselves up every time and not park where our hurt is. Where we spread love to our peers and get blessed with peers who also stretch their arms for a bear hug on those days your brain chooses to replay all the painful scenarios you have been in. ( I am convinced that my worst enemy is my brain juu why would you choose to remind me but then again you remind me of my wins so maybe my brain is my best friend… The brain a friend and a foe a series by yours truly – Aaah, I’m hilarious)

(Lift me up) Lift me up in your arms

(Hold me down) I need love, I need love, I need love

(Keep me close) Hold me, hold me

(Safe and sound) Hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me

(Lift me up) Hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me

(Hold me down) Hold me, hold me

(Keep me safe) We need light, we need love

 

So, kudos to those of us who have been able to hold ourselves this last month. For those of us who haven’t gotten to this side yet, I can assure you the grass is greener, the birds are chirping, and you are not alone.

And a call out to my boy Geoffrey for not liking this song, I have to mention you here so that the few readers here can know you exist as the man who didn’t like Rihanna’s new song… “Lift me Up”.

Anyways be safe, choose love, don’t hate it…

Regards,

 

Thairu