BROKEN TOYS

Fellow Love Birds, 

If you are reading this then you need to brace yourself. Hey, I know that feeling when that girl texts you and you just want it to go on forever. How she says your name when you call and now you are the giggliest person in the world. How she has you staring at the ceiling at night and building castles. How she has you envisioning the next moment she gets to bless your life with her glow. Then she finally says yes and boom you are dating this girl that has been making you feel great about yourself.

You get to second base and you hold hands and now holding hands feels blissful. Your hand now feels cold without her touch and you want more of it. You get addicted and now you are a holding hands junkie. She stills gives you butterflies every time you see her and now you are screaming she is the one. Now now now, It’s a fairytale until reality hits you. Now she has expectations. Well, at first you can do it. It’s the easy stuff, then things get a little bit tough and now you have your first argument. 

Arguments are weird. You will be mad at her then you are hugging her and she is crying and now you are apologizing for things she did and you don’t know why. Once you calm down the addiction kicks in and now you are holding hands as you take a walk. Building castles again. Promising yourself that such an argument will never happen again and you live happily ever after. Boy wake up to reality. Reality has a way of showing you that your plans are naught. 

Finally, you get to third base. Then it hits you. Shoot I really have a lot of insecurities. Now, this is the problem. Falling in love has you walking on clouds and the next minute you are in some corner crying about your insecurities. Insecurities are monsters that we acknowledge and we might mention them but they are unruly. You start degrading yourself. You were content with how you looked because your mother said you are the most handsome boy she knows and all of a sudden you are staring at the mirror more frequently. 

You want to be validated by your friends. You start overusing that filter on your Snapchat because you think you are not pretty enough without it. You are now aware of how you walk, how you talk, how your teeth look and now you are angry because your mother never took you to the dentist. Insecurities are like wildfire. They start as a spark and now the California fires are mediocre compared to the one in your head. 

The good news is YouTube has you covered. Makeup tutorials, work out channels, and you finally start approving yourself again. You are confident again and you smile more. You can finally go swimming again and dip your feet in the pool since you can’t swim but hey, you can wear a swimsuit. You have that pack and some muscles to flex around and now some more girls start noticing you. The make-up tutorials have you showing off some artistic edges and now some more guys are approaching you. 

Love birds, the fights now escalate. That guy who praised your skincare regimen and you decided to give him your number, starts sending some fire pick-up lines and it dawns on you that your current guy is not really "intelligent". That girl who looked at you some type of way and you decided to add her to your flock now has you smiling again. Whenever you meet with your girlfriend, you issue out the obligated hug and smile at each other and both of you can’t stop looking at your phones. 

These new players have this new intoxicating vibe and you just can’t get enough of it. Well, you all know how this story ends. You start fighting more. You no longer meet, you no longer have those long phone calls, you are now addicted to new hands and they feel softer than the last. Finally, he/she sends that break-up text. ‘Ummm it’s not you it’s…’ ama ‘Kuna vile I want to focus on me more’ (I am wheezing from these cheap ass lines, but hey they always seem to work). 

Now, you crossover to the other side where men are … but you have that other guy. You’ve been philandering for a while now. You give it a shot and now you are hugging your pillow at night saying ‘men are sweet angels’. This girl has you building new castles and promising her the world but you can only afford an uber ride because your best friend had some promo code and you take her out. You get back home bleeding but hey she said she loved you so being broke for a week or two is worth it. 

Then the third base is upon you again and wallah, new insecurities. (I am amusing myself, I can’t stop laughing). Hizi insecurities again. Haiya the cycle continues and now you are that toxic guy that girls seem to like. You are the girl that breaks the hearts of these innocent young boys and finally, society is filled with broken toys and the source is our two love birds. Well if you are a broken toy, you could go to YouTube and vibe to ‘Niko Sawa’ by Nviiri and Bien and maybe mention what he/she did. 

I wish there was a broken heart's rehab but till we get one, let's continue crying or perfecting the art of toxicity.