LIGHTNING

Mon Ami

My beautiful morning dew, I have been dreaming about you lately. You know those dreams where I never quite get to see your face, yet your braids dance against the wind, your laughter fills my ears, my hand rests on your waist, and my lips find yours… only for reality to wake me to a life without you. It’s hard. Some days, I wish your nights felt as empty as mine without me by your side.

Do you yearn for me as I do you? Or has life’s turmoil swallowed you whole, leaving no space to think of me, of us, of what we could become?

I, for one, dream. I wish. I manifest. I imagine our time together will be heavenly, that you’ll:

Hold me until we die

Weather together the storms of life

Won't always be sunshine

Baby, we're blends of imperfection

Give me your heart and soul

Love me like you've never loved before

Beautiful morning dew

I'll be your shoulder to cry on to

I have been growing, emotionally, mostly. I am learning to blend childishness with maturity so you can have the best of both worlds. I’ve grown accustomed to wearing masks, so don’t be surprised when you see me in new skin and wonder what happened. Beneath it all, I remain lovely.

Though I am introverted, I sometimes wear the extrovert’s cloak to navigate relationships outside my bubble. Some will even go to war to prove I am an extrovert. The truth? They’re all fragments of me, shades of who I’ve been and who I am becoming.

I am both a lover and a fighter. Because what is a lover, if not someone willing to fight for what they love? Keanu once said it, and it resonated deeply. I fight for friendships when they strain, for love when the world tries to convince us it ends. I fight battles I often lose, just because I’d feel worse if I didn’t try. I don’t believe love ends. I believe it gets shadowed by irritations, frustrations, and disappointments, but beneath it, love remains. For who are we if not beings of love, yet made to believe we can live without it?

My heart beats for you only

Every word is true

I'm in love with you

Take you as you are lady

You ain't gotta change for me

Need you from your crown, honey

Right down to the soul of your very feet

I have fought for so long that I have become fluent in forgiveness. Anger breeds pain, pain steals peace, and peace is a treasure I guard fiercely. I work through struggles in search of the best solutions, though life often teaches us the best only after the war, after the dumb mistakes. And then, penitent, we return to rebuild the bridges we burned.

I laugh as I write, knowing that when you are finally mine, we will push each other’s buttons, as paradoxical creatures do. We are the same, yet different. And I hope that when those moments come, I will still embody all that I claim to be now.

Yes, love is hard. But;

Girl, my love grows stronger

Each day baby please

Don't hurt me just because

You know I'll forgive

Girl, my love grows stronger

Each day baby please

Don't hurt me just because

You know I'll forgive

 

With love,

Thairu