BLOSSOM GRAM

  Have you ever been tempted? Have you ever had that constant feeling to fall short of the glory of the Lord? I had initially said I am a Christian. I tend to read the word everyday but lately I’ve been having this constant desire to sin. Sin; such a big word isn’t it? Sin often regarded as dirt according to the Christian mind. But temptation is often luring. It has a sweet tone to it but ironically it leads to death; (Not literally but spiritually, but also literally, this is quite confusing but also easy to grasp). Temptation really is enticing and as the word records that we should not tempt others it does seem as a fun-feet. Why do I sound as though I enjoy temptation? But, just to clarify things with myself and you; I actually don’t. But I don’t really understand how it works. Okay basically it starts as an idea and then you can’t shake it off until you do it, then you regret it. But with the word and Christ you can overcome it (I believe this is where Spiritual Maturity comes i

I really don’t even don’t know why am writing this. I don’t have a topic to talk about but am here about to create art and I don’t even know what the final product will be. I heard Lakeith Stanfield saying he just grooves with his spirit and I presume that is exactly what am doing now. What I know is that I’ll be feeling better when am done. I can’t really explain it but for the longest time I’ve felt caged. Like am not supposed to feel some things. Most people have a perspective of who I am and who I’ll be but there are days I just want to be free. Be a bird and let the wind direct me. I live a closeted life, but there is always that feeling of wanting to riot. Wanting to try different things in life, get to live but I can’t do it because of the repercussions that would suffice if I did. I want to scream or laugh, am repeating myself aren’t I. I’d like to grow dreadlocks and have that phase in my life escapades. I want to do drugs not the hard ones but some weed and get to vibe to s

  Well I can’t fully process what I feel as I write this. Am at a state where I have a whole bunch of feelings and I can’t choose if I want to feel them or just block them out. I’ve done this a couple of times and it works but the repercussions are waaay worse. Should I just cry and get it over with, but what if I just want to laugh, or maybe I just want a long hug and get to bond with someone. Being a guy is really stressful. Well I was raised in a society that thinks men that cry are weak. There even a saying, ‘a mans tears go to his stomach’. It doesn’t really make sense but if you’ve been raised in such a place then you’d maybe have a hint of what am saying. Am currently still listening to sad music trying to make my mood better. I have a smile plastered on my face but my head and heart are whirling in thoughts. I am an overthinker and I have this urge to make wealth and make it as a young guy and maybe speed things up and get married at twenty-three but my society says I have