STAY!

 

The first time we met, I never imagined all this would follow. You seemed almost oblivious, maybe even indifferent to my presence. I looked, I lingered, I smiled, and then I told myself to forget you.

The second time was no different. You were on some errand, carrying that air of someone who hated every moment of it. I whispered a soft hey, and you glanced at me. My courage dissolved, and I walked away sheepishly. Still, I sat there, stealing glances, silently urging myself once again to forget.

The third time, I entered a room only to find you there, quiet, still, radiant, seated across from me. And again, I wondered why fate always placed me in a position to watch you. Every fiber of me longed to sit beside you, to spill endless streams of random stories, to hear the sound of your laughter, even though I barely knew who you were, beyond the undeniable beauty I kept trying, and failing, to erase from my heart.

Then came the heys, the shy smiles, the laughter that filled the silence between us, and those fleeting moments when our eyes met only to retreat in shyness. I lived for those days. I listened to your rants, your passionate obsession with that odd artist (and I’ll forever say it: he is from Gachui! 😂😂 I swear it!)

I cannot say when it began, but I was already falling. Perhaps it happened the very first time I saw you. Perhaps forgetting you was never an option, and instead, you found your place in the quiet corners of my subconscious, waiting patiently for the day we would become… and, somehow, we did.

But fate keeps her accounts in balance, and I owed a debt. Karma came, demanding her dues, and I had no choice but to pay. She left me no escape, no hiding place. I begged for time, but time turned its back on me. And so, with trembling hands, I surrendered the one thing I never wanted to lose… you, my wind of fresh air.

Now, every evening feels like an act of forgetting. I try, and fail, and try again. My heart aches with the wish that you would simply stay. That you could;

Walk with me, far above the horizon

Lay with me, we can put the stars to bed

Love me still, love me leave me breathless

Stay with me, stay and let us weep

Well, at least we do so together.

But you are gone, and I remain. Thus, I drown myself in work, wander the cold streets, and dream of impossible yesterdays. And though I grieve, I find comfort in knowing that in dreams, at least, you will always stay with me, my beloved.

 

Love,

 

Thairu