LOVERS DON'T LET GO!

My Darling,

There’s something peculiar about her, how I placed her on a pedestal she never asked for. She didn’t think she was all that, but I saw her as everything. She left, but somehow, she still lingers. A voice in the quiet. A memory that won't be quiet.

Don’t you even think of giving up.

Don’t you even.

Don’t you even say you’ve had enough.

You’re not leaving.

The thing about breakups is that they never announce themselves. You wake up on what feels like a beautiful day, and then bam! your world flips. Suddenly, the one you love doesn’t love you anymore. Just like that.

I still don’t understand it.

How do you stop loving someone?

Can you even stop?

Or did you never really love them at all?

Most of us never get closure. We just learn to carry the silence like it’s part of us.

Don’t you know that lovers don’t let go?

No, no, not like that.

Take your time, but come back.

To me, love has always been something that loops. It returns, even if it slows down. Sometimes I ask myself why I love, but eventually, I remember, and that memory always reignites it. I try to love better. More gently. More fully. But some people… they just stop. And I’m still learning to accept that.

Devil put a gun to my face.

Flip the tables when I’m leaning.

Take it all, but don’t you dare take her.

I’ve always been a fool for love. I’d go to Hades and beg Persephone herself if it meant one more moment in her arms. Plead with the gods, sell my peace just to kiss the lips that broke me. But maybe I need to ask: Was it her I loved, or the idea of her?

If she only ever loved the idea of loving me, then it makes sense that she left. We’re human, we get new ideas all the time. Maybe she changed her mind. Maybe I was chasing someone who had already walked away in her heart.

And maybe, just maybe, she left not because she stopped loving me, but because she stopped recognizing herself in the love we had.

Still, I bargain in my heart for one more laugh. Her gaze when things got playful, her arms when life got heavy, they made me feel like I was known. Loved.

And questioning that? It would break something sacred in me.

Don’t tell me you lost it,

But you don’t know how.

Don’t say you’re fine

When you still need me.

And yet what changes in us? I gaslight myself into believing I need no one. But then nights like this hit, when all I want is to be held, to be told that I am enough. Not by anyone. By her. Because I convinced myself she was the only one who truly saw me, a man who looked strong on the outside but was all nerve endings inside.

Why do I try so hard to seem whole when maybe I just need to be held in pieces?

Don’t you know that lovers don’t let go?

No, no, not like that.

Take your time, but come back.

Tonight, I crumble. But it’s not the end. Tomorrow, I’ll pick up what’s left of me. I won’t run from the pain. I’ll sit with it. Learn from it. Maybe even thank it someday.

Because healing doesn't always look like forgetting, it often looks like remembering without needing to hold on.

Love,

 

Thairu