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CRAWLING!



My Beloved,

Falling in love with you wasn’t a choice, it was an instinct!

 

I have tried loving others but it isn’t the same. I have tried to not love you anymore but it comes so naturally, not forced just easy. I mean there are reasons why I shouldn’t love you, you not loving me being the most important one, but it doesn’t matter, well to me it doesn’t. We could live with mine since I have a lot of it…

I dreamt about you nearly every night this week

How many secrets can you keep?

'Cause there's this tune I found

That makes me think of you somehow

And I play it on repeat

Until I fall asleep

The oddest thing about all this is I would do it all over again if I had a chance. You know, loving you. Loving you made me funnier since I loved how you laughed, how small your eyes got, and how your nose scrunched when smiling at my cringe lines. How holding you felt, how holding your hand never got too hot to make it uncomfortable and how sleeping while holding hands never felt weird. So yes, I would do it all over again. I’d count my days till my heart broke and not regret my impending death as I really did lose a part of myself when it all ended.

Do I wanna know

If this feeling flows both ways?

Sad to see you go

Sort of hoping that you'd stay

Darling we both know

That the nights were mainly made

For saying things that you can't say tomorrow day

Letting you go and moving on always felt so foreign. But I have grown accustomed to it. I don’t know how it feels, to be loved and to love after all this time. I have grown numb to it. A lie was told that time heals everything but after all this while, I think time numbs everything. There is no healing, there is just busyness, business, and numbness, and then it just becomes a part of who you are. A part of who I am, a busy, numb, business man … (calling myself a business man is cringe!!!, made me laugh though)

Crawling back to you

 

Ever thought of calling when you've had a few?

'Cause I always do

Maybe I'm too

Busy being yours to fall for somebody new

Now I've thought it through

 

Regardless of time moving and it being a couple of years since you were mine, I never stopped being yours. Maybe, naah not maybe, I know that’s why I haven’t fallen for somebody new, I have actually thought it through and I would rather be eternally yours than forever love someone who isn’t you.

Again, loving you wasn’t a choice, it was instinctual if that is a word. Everything felt right, and maybe that’s why moving on seems, feels so wrong. Well, I have given up and;

I'm too

Busy being yours to fall for somebody new

Love,

 

Thairu.

 

Hey Lovelies,

It’s another year, damn! Time is moving fast and I am excited about all the pieces I will do this year. I want to try being more committed this year and do a weekly piece. If I fail to, please understand or don’t and just contact me and ask why I am not serving tears or laughs (ama I’m the only one who laughs as I re-read these pieces.)

Thank you for all the reads last year and also the comments. They mean a lot to me. To those of you who repost my work, you have my heart 💓💓💓

Thank You!!!

I wish you a happy new year 2025! And may we feel new things this year, and grow in beautiful ways.

 

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