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Showing posts from April, 2025

L'amour De Ma Vie!

Dearest Reader, Yesternight I lay beside a woman I desired. She was the embodiment of all I wanted but wasn't what I needed. It took me too long to realize that, though. I may have been so fixated on the idea of being with her that I lost myself in my own whims of what I thought I wanted.  Want and need always seem blurry to me. I always want things that make my heart race, and I chase after them, then realize that I just needed some peace of mind and slow music. But does that mean that I shouldn't chase after what I want? What if that want causes me more damage than I can handle and I finally break? Break because I have spent my years holding on to the hope that I will always be okay, as I walked on a tight leash and a single misstep would cause my death. I have all these fears of finding a good woman. Fears that have no basis since I do not know what a good woman is. Is a good woman someone who resembles my mother? Is a good woman someone whom I love that she loves me? Nah, I...